Helpful Tips for Dating with Herpes
So you found out that you have herpes. As you might realize, it can be a very socially debilitating illness. How exactly do you get back on the dating scene once you’ve learned about your illness?
How do you deal with that sort of pressure? Well, here are some tips that should help you on dating with herpes:
1) Be honest, but not brutally so – you need to tell a date that you have herpes and give them enough time to absorb and think about the information before having sexual contact.
Remember that timing is everything and just blurting out that you have herpes just before you get in bed is definitely a big no-no.
Most people lack enough information on the disease and brutal honesty can cause them to process your revelation poorly, causing them to react in fear and loathing. However, given enough time and information, herpes doesn’t have to be that big a deal.
2) Don’t make it the biggest factor of your life – treat herpes just like any other problem in the dating scene. We all have various hurdles to face in the dating scene and herpes can be reduced to just one of those hurdles.
If a person rejects you, it might not be because of the illness. In other words, don’t use herpes as an excuse to stop self-improvement.
3) Reduce risk of transmission – there are many ways you can do this. Actually, there’s already a vaccine being developed against herpes. This vaccine could definitely make dating with herpes much, much easier.
Suppressive treatment has also been shown to significantly decrease the risk of transmission, considering that herpes is most contagious during outbreaks.
Condoms are also a necessity. When used properly, condoms can radically decrease the risk of transmitting herpes.
4) Educate your partner – the best thing you can do is to help enlighten your acquaintance about your condition. Dating with herpes can be so much easier if you help the other person learn more about the disease.
5) Get help – you are not alone. A lot of other people face problems in dating with herpes. By joining a support group and getting help, you might find that you deal with pressure a lot more easily.
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Can their be some more elaboration on “Actually, there’s already a vaccine being developed against herpes. This vaccine could definitely make dating with herpes much, much easier.”…A link or article on this? Thankyou.
Please inform me of such support groups that are involved with dealing with this pressure
maybe add in: don’t date people w/o this virus. So said people don’t have to experience this painful and traumatic affliction. I wouldn’t put this on anyone now that I have it….. you are a selfish, self-serving, indulgent, p.o.s. if you just “go about it” as if you are still normal. We are not normal, now. Go have a big cry about it that you can’t date anymore. I’m staying out of it, and infected others should as well.
I understand your thinking Roy but there are some people out there without herpes that are understanding and to be honest if you find that you and someone else have fallen uncontrollably in love with each other does sex really have to be the most important part of your relationship anyway?
I found out I had herpes just over a year ago when I had a major outbreak. Having been with my partner for 4 and a half years already we went through him testing negative for the virus and him thinking that maybe I’d cheated on him but we worked through it and yes I still panic about giving it to him but he says if he gets it he gets it and we’ll keep struggling on through life together. Knowing what I have has forced us to be more open and honest with each other and thats made our relationship stronger.
I have had it for several years and my life is not over and I refuse to believe that it means that my love life is over. I won’t pretend that I have the explanation thing down to an art. But most have been very understanding. I know for a fact that if someone loves you enough then this will be but a small matter for them. Roy you sound like you are on the pity party from hell and if you keep thinking like that you will end up in a train wreck in your head. Stop sabotaging yourself and go out and live life. You’ll be much better for it.
im currently experiencing my first outbreak & im totally lost. i dunno yet how to grasp & digest what’s happeniing to me…pls inform me of any groups that can be on help me deal with this… tyvm
Ive had it for a few months now and i find dating extremely difficult. Whenever i get too close to a guy i find some way to make an excuse and runaway from the relationship so i dont have to deal with having to tell him. Im 17 and everyone my age is so immature and dont fully understand about the virus, and that i dont think i could trust anyone enough to tell them. I want to be happy and be in a relationship again but i don’t see how i can anymore.
its going to be ok. . i just found out to that i have it. . im so scared but i keep researching an lookin for answers. . you cant blame your self an trust me you will meet someone that will love you for the person you are an not some condition you have. .